Sunday, August 15, 2010

What is a Butch?

What is a butch?

A butch is the polar opposite of a femme. The yang to the femme's yin.

I take her arm and help her up. I give her comfort when she needs it. I lift the heavy things. I go to the store when she is lying naked in bed and doesn't want to get dressed. I fuck her like she needs to be fucked.

I can't stand it when she cries because I want to find out why she is crying and fix the problem immediately. I want to make her happy constantly. I am her rock. I have to be her rock. I guess my kind of butch is the rock butch. I am sturdy, I am reliable, I am stable, I have strength to offer (both physical and emotional). I want to marry my woman and give her all that I can and more. I want to do house projects and fix things. I want to build our dream house with my bare hands, yet I am no carpenter. But my heart wants to.

I want to fuck her hard and strong all night. I love making her cum over and over again until I lose count. I love the sounds she makes, from guttural to a high pitched squeal. She's wet like the Amazon River before I barely touch her sometimes. Her lust and scent drive me wild. My favorite position is right above her, supporting myself with my arms, staring down into her chocolate brown eyes and seeing the lust there. She's begging me to fuck her. Yet while she's begging me, she's daring me to make her cum as much as I can. It's challenge I relish and a challenge I win almost every single time we fuck.

I want to be the one to take care of things. I want to make enough money so we can live comfortably without worrying. I want us to have a little cushion in case something goes wrong. And I want to be the one responsible for fixing whatever problems come along. Of course I cannot fix all the problems by myself, but, I'll try my hardest to. I just don't want her to worry.

I sound almost sexist when I say that, but, it's true. I just want to be her provider. I want her to know everything will be taken care of. Of course, in all likelihood, we will have a partnership, an equal relationship where we both would take care of things. That would be the correct thing to do. But I just want her to know that no matter what, I will be her rock.

I imagine in our kitchen, she'd be cooking wearing nothing but an apron. That thought makes me tingle all over like nothing else. Just the fact that she'd be in our kitchen being naked for me. Why would she be in the kitchen? Because she loves cooking and I can't. I love her cooking though. Afterward, I would clean up the mess and do the dishes because that's what I do best.

Being a butch, for me, is all about being a rock: A solid, unmoving pillar of strength and unyielding patience for my girl.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

A Heart of Gold

In the past, I've always fallen for the wrong women.

I used to fall for the unattainable, the emotionally unstable, the users, the manipulators, the liars, the backstabbers.

Perhaps I am being too harsh. However, my past experiences have been nothing but heartache.

I have fallen for women who wanted to use me in some way and I let them. I let them use me because I was afraid to open my eyes and accept the truth. I've had past girlfriends use my naivety against me, who lied to me and then denied it.

I've been mocked for caring too much. I've had my feelings dashed against the wall.

I've tried to save sinking ships only to drown. I thought it was my duty to save those sinking ships. I thought that if I could save her then she would be happy then it would make me happy. My own happiness was not a priority. For that, I am at fault.

They tried to change me and make me deny what I was. They dressed me up and played with my puppet strings, making me dance for them. I let them only because I didn't know better. I thought if I let them play me and make me dance then they'd be happy, and then I'd be happy with them.

I was at fault too, I am sure. I am not completely innocent. But never did I try to manipulate. Never did I lie, never did I use.

But, perhaps being through those gauntlets helped me to realize the gem I had found. Knowing manipulation helped me to realize when I wasn't being manipulated.

My heart of gold is a rare find. My happiness is apparent to all those who meet me. We are hailed as a cute couple. People say we are right for each other.

It's so refreshing to not be jealous, anxious, or worried all the time. A heavy weight has lifted off my heart. It's refreshing not to have to keep my feelings in check.

It's refreshing to fall for the right woman.